¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·. '+ -[[.. Don't . Give . Up ..] ]- +' ¸.·´¯`·.¸ .·´¯`·.¸

Sunday, January 20, 2008

it's 20th of january... somehow today... i've realise that im 19... ow... everything has been so packed that I dun even have the time to daydream.. chinese new yr is coming! frens baby 1mth coming.. my airport pass gonna expire, facial, work n my guitar concert all coming straight for me... thinking of that, im wondering how to look good during new yr.. dunno wanna follow that zong xing look of super girly look! Argh... gonna knock my mum upside down n get 200bucks from her! in the end she said: Go Use Ur Bank $... *heartbroken* spent so much during january... haiz... die?

feeling veri low nowadays.. it's as if im totally stuck inside my own world.. staring into space all this while.. thinking about almost everything I could think of? words coming out from my mouth is getting lesser n lesser.. hahazz.. will I eva had a day when I nv tok? I really wonder when will it be... bro once told me if ppl kept being sad and think negatively everytime... they will get old sooner than others... now im starting to believe... and i've been eating bread all tis while..

ok... Im all screwed up.. Cant seems to be handling things well... Perhaps.. I wanted all tis to happen? Regret? what's for me to regret? I may not even noe what am i doing... But... I seems to get so sick of everything that I am learning from others to escape from reality... the cruel reality.. the huiling now shld be the quietest huiling u could ever see ba... for what cherish everything? For what worry for others when u cant even think bout urself? juz hope that ppl will stop asking... "r u alrite?" If my face tells u im not alrite... I really hope u guys will stop toking 2 me...Or rather... msging is better.. cuz.. there's no feelings in it ba... It's juz so blank in my mind that i dun even feel like thinking.. fear of deciding... i shall wake up when i 4gets everything....

- LifeGoesOn~

Thursday, January 17, 2008

it's 17th jan.. at hm resting... sick.. physically n mentally... haha! didnt get to slp well yesterday.. n couldnt get up for my test? haiz.. didnt go for lessons too.. guitar? cant be bothered.. lei le... tired until i dun wish to do anything..
brought a cake.. juz wish that i could throw it right on the floor yesterday? haiz... my bro using com.. write in my diary then... i got no mood either......

- LifeGoesOn~

Monday, January 14, 2008

its 15th dec le... only one word to describe everything.. TIRED. my once in a yr de birthday ends le.. i think its my best bday eva.. so occupied.. even after my bday i've got tiramisu from my guitar clique as bday present.. so sweet! i mean nt tiramisu la! wanna see them? omg! whr's hasanah? my art... cool huh?
guitar practice is so intense that im so tired? n when i have my 2mth holiday.. i muz come 4 4-5day per wk? cant even work? OMG? but... its getting on hand.. my playing...

one of my goody fren's baby is out! ^^ baby gal... will surely go visit her on the baby's one mth ann. man, without here life's definately boring in class..
hmm..listening to some songs and editing my blog.. btw.. thx guys who celebrated my birthday.. n even ppl who rmbs my bday...
here i am being gratified bout my birthday n i've made sum1's else up-coming birthday disasterous? or it didnt affect? dun really know what im doing.. at time what i tot juz came out without me even thinking twice.. Sry doesnt seems 2 be the cure.. perhaps.. its really wat i wanna say.. therefore saying sry will juz allow everything to happen again...
I shld juz ignore ba... let everything or perhaps... myself to find out my own faults... not others, juz my own fault.. bcuz only i can chage myself... can i change others? so! huiling.. noe what u really want! please! n stop hurting others... (here i am regretting) i dun really noe what i want.. so pls.. juz leave ba.. soon when i lose i'll noe... actually i dun need any help.. if i lose it, i wun regret either.. cuz its my choice.. perhaps ppl changed when we are out of ppl's life..
people will only learn from their mistakes after they have lost something.. some cherish when its back, some take it for granted.. juz like me, im fortunate, a family which gives me a lot of $.. yet i've spent their money like i've got big bucks in my "ATM" machine.. have many true frens... where i tot its my end of the world everytime when i faces difficulties.. "greed","ignorance" n so many more.. i noe my own faults.. at times, people shld noe theirs too.. cause its burying them alive... admitting mistake seems difficult at times.. saying sry may have turned into excuses of no learning from ur mistakes cuz its juz a word "sry". Something that truly meant it is action... without action, everything is juz empty promises ba..
oh god.. wat am i saying.. i dunno either.. so tired.. write crap~ gotta go~ lessons starting... Zzz.. craps.. crap blogging again! -.-'''

- LifeGoesOn~

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Yup!! It's My 19th Birthday! YEAH!!
hehe! thx everyone!! this r pic i manage to have in my phone... enjoy~

this are present from onli 10 oh! thank u 4 that 360 degree turned cake oso... -.-'''

wedges hunger
cant stop laughing.. worked done by 10.. super strong flash!!

our individual drinks! yea~

auntie 10 wanna eat wedges n crave for drinks.. ^^
two pretty ladies that celebrated by bday!

i am too thirsty!!
the magaritta lychee! It's Nice!!

cosmopolitian , lime juice?? lolz.. its extra sour when 10 squeeze the lime juice in..

that 360 degree cake... lols!

cranberry gin!

seabreeze~

- LifeGoesOn~

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

ok.. its thursday, 10th january 2008... 4got to bring my diary to school and im left with the com to blog~ hmm... going out tis sat... my family actually intended to ask me to go my relative house celebrate my bday... as my lil cousin has the same date of birth as me.. ^^ but was being rejected... cuz... damn lil logic of frens are first priority.. there were my poly frens, n sec sch frens that asked me out... rejected the poly 1's.. perhaps i only feel like celebrating my bday with my buddies.. and it all clashes that all wanted to go out in the afternoon or evening.. so... it's alrite... priorities comes first!!

=( when my bday is near... some1's bday is near too.. january babies.. ok la.. not gonna bad mouth anymore... my schedul is veri tight during my bday... n thus i have to reject some to co-ordinate with the others.. same goes to miss elena.. even if ppl have no time for that particular fren.. they are not forgotten.. this is what i think ba.. juz that there are more imp ppl in our life's.. mummy asked me veri sincerely too... its not as if i dun care.. cuz can really fit... but im gonna buy myself a cake for my family to cut wif me at night... cuz i noe they wanted to celebrate my bday as they sort of know i was down recently..

10 auntie.. u really gg to drink ar? i guess if drink or go until late late ran cant make it de.. so only u n me go.. ok rite? actually tot of not gg out at all de... after thinking for long... its juz another day... haha... but thxs 4 rmbering ah auntie.. then book so early in adv... btw.. how come u cry? "as what u have mention in the chatbox." didnt noe le guan de 10 will cry 1... haha!

perhaps... i'll have more problems to face after my bday celebration... actually i can really handle the life which is to concentrate on my poly life, poly friends and guitar practice.. as for sec frens.. it's not as if always meet la.. but they will be thr when u need them.. shld i really put my concentration on studies n guitar in my yr 2 life? still thinking... life's is really mine tis time... have been thinking all tis while.. afraid to make decision that i've nv made... but.. this time im really considering... fair or not.. i have been repeating tis mistakes for years... perhaps the fact is telling me to not repeat the same process all over... nevertheless! i muz start believing in myself and not others... put my shoes b4 others! Wish me luck! Jia you!!

- LifeGoesOn~

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

ok... its the 8th of january today.. tired as usual.. ^^ but im feeling better.. Life's gotta move on anyway.. perhaps hiding from that particular problem.. dun mention or think of it i'll be alrite..
I ate something today on my way to sch.. 2 mini bread in sausage n ham. T_T haha.. juz tot that i'll be hungry in the afternoon so eat in the morning.. torturing myself? shld be ba... Its not as if im not blessed with frens bcuz my fren will always ask me 2 eat... juz tat.. nah... it ok... type of feeling.. a least i've smiled 2day to ppl ard... achievement compared to the day b4!!
hmmm.. 2day i didnt received any msg.. somethings wrong? nah... guessed that i've hurt ppl enough.. this fews days, my messages are filled with thorns.. actually I didnt mean to say this kind of words... perhaps.. things r juz anger... after thinking back my msgs that i know i hurt ppl, i'll cry... LOLS! wat's wrong wif me? i dunno either... sad..
yup... i've finally brought myself a diary... to really write what i feel inside the diary... as for blogs... i'll juz keep my frens update bout how im doing... i guess i'll write my diary more often... perhaps 2 cause less troubles... thou a diary wun teach me whats rite or wrong... at least, at least... i could really write my true feelings... hope to get better each day!!! JY!

- LifeGoesOn~

Monday, January 7, 2008

7th of january. the day when sch reopen.. i was dead tired... recieved msg early in the morning n it was something which i was expecting.. I didnt really know how to answer.. perhaps... I do really need time for myself to think clearly.. I dun wan to regret anymore.. or perhaps...it takes two hand to clap.. two brains to decide in order to be fair...
in class today... i think i've spoke less than a 50 words... excluding my presentation.. "my results are real bad.. im forced to pretend".. questions from others are.. "huiling u wanna go eat tgt?" "where is ur good fren?" 1st ans: no.. im quite tired.. wanna stay in class.. 2nd: she wun be coming back tis sem"
my questions were.. "i dun understand todays prb.. how 2 counter.............." "gg back le... bye!"
tired ba... i couldnt even ans much of the qns that faci posted to me.. blank.. as i was still msg.. i could rmb i've almost burst into tears.. lols.. guess that has made ppl not have the courage to approach me... but its ok... got buy myself can green tea n lemon tea when i know my gastic acting.. sugar content.. smart gal! hahas.. now not afraid that fren not thr le.. cause i care more about other stuff.. that stupid idiotic messages that occupied everyday... good thou..
a lot of thing i dunno how to handle.. do not know what is right or wrong... but i noe... i had suffered much.. so is others... it juz different situation.. tis is why things shld be compared.. for now.. i guess.. time will prove to me what i really need in life... if i have made any1's life difficult.. im sry... im so loss that i can onli sit n watch time to pass by n fate to decide whats right for me..
at night... went to have dinner with mum.. ate my meal... yum yum... borrowed some book that were in chinese... "lao shi ren de bei ju" and "dou shi ni de cuo" again.. they are self help books..they will keep me occupied...didnt know what that lies ahead... truly hope that everyone will be true to each other... some things can be ammend... so is 4eva lost... when i get to read those books... i've more to say ba... really moody nowaday... stopped here... all the best to myself! JYJY!

- LifeGoesOn~

Sunday, January 6, 2008

2day is the 6th of jan.. new yr has passed.. a new beginning or a new disastrous beginning? i had a quarrel wif my best friend... next.. i received a call from my poly best fren that she couldnt pei me le... she's pregnant.. i think today is the longest day in my life.. a painful 1... deceived.. until then end.. i was faced to accept things that has already been planned?
a quarrel wif frens is nth.. perhaps.. it is not even a quarrel... because i wasnt really involved.. haha.. being blacklisted as "betrayer" of frenship.. whether is it directly or directly to the person.. i think it doesnt really matter.. cuz afterall.. i let it out.. i do really meant my friends well.. but.. when the person believed that ur the culprit... thr's really nth to say to everything.. u urself noe that u didnt do anything that betrays frenship its enough.. sum1 really told me a lot of things... juz some outsider that does really affects my life.. teaches me things about life.. thanks...
i've tot things wun get any worst.. really tot so.. that midnight was really tough.. cuz i've received all the blames, scoldings... best to come when my poly fren called.. i was stunned.. totally stunned.. had a lot of fun tgt.. but... it was veri saddening when u noe wif that fren for that sem is only left with a mth then couldnt like spend it tgt wif frens... she apologize that she couldnt pei me.. in the sense of had fun, joy n laughter.. went back tgt after sch.. breakfast n lunch tgt.. i was not angry bout tat when i noe im back 2 that skipping breakfast or lunch, go back alone n everything.. its really a pity.. n what is saddening is that that fren told u 2 eat when she couldnt really handle her own stuff.. it proves that tis fren is really worth such tears.. after a period of time after i hang up wif her.. i msg her that we are still frens.. n she muz keep me update bout her labour.. im really glad for her..n thus.. frenship is still gg strong.. i awaits her wedding as what she has promised..
a lot of people in life accept things openly.. take the courage.. while some things that everything is wrong,unfair.. this people out thr.. they truly change my views of life.. i may be sad now... but they makes me grow.. stronger.. perhaps mature.. what else can i not handle? worst day had come.. wat could be even worst?? hui ling! jia you...
perhaps im childish myself to be tat emotional.. but i really couldnt control myself at times... written so much.. i shall prepare myself for the next day... a sch reopen day... challenges is open to everthing!!!

- LifeGoesOn~