¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·. '+ -[[.. Don't . Give . Up ..] ]- +' ¸.·´¯`·.¸ .·´¯`·.¸

Friday, February 15, 2008

oh my oh my... it's 2.15 am n im not aslp once again... sat 16th feb... life's disasterous this past few day as i've been working non-stop cum extras OT to take over those MC's staff.. clearing my throat all the time.. feels as if there stones caught in the middle.. flam.. *is that the correct spelling?* sometime there's even blood in it.. Lols.. too much of the CNY stuff isnt a gd ya...

a day has past, as usual... went shopping n watched movie with ele.. almost the same old routine as b4.. make-ups are the most time consuming thing which a gal could spent doing.. hate it when i have to spend so much time on the eyes... hahs? but the result is always better than not putting it at all isnt it? wondering if i shld walk the emo path n draw lower eyeliner... *thinking thinking* haha.. thinking of that.. i'm sucha letdown to myself.. to think that its better without make up in the past.. n IM using it now... OMG.. but it wun be a always thing.. i need to wake up extras 1hr b4 my previous time to finish preparing? i wonder how u gals can withstand this kind of torture man.. horrizible... for show oso cannot torture urself... -.-'''

asked ele bout some BGR things.. talking bout love... i wonder if all the guys r thinking it in such a realistic way... n gals r following it? may i have the exceptional 1? really dun wished that love is so simple loh.. perhaps i really need more recognition than other gals.. but, no worries, dun think im gg into a relationship so soon... until im older bah.. i may juz be thinking too complexed bout love or noe nth bout it but juz need the 1 for me to fall hard in n never come out that type.. will be painful.. but worth the pain type of person.. imperfect person looking for something perfect.. Wahaha! therefore, juz rather not have it wif my kind of mindset now.. courage is little, thinking love is not worth the try... wondering if tis sum1 could change me...

something i shld comment on too.. bout myself n my life.. i felt that im a person that would rather believe in others than believe in myself.. yet when it comes to image, attitude,my way of life and love, i'd rather keep others comments shut.. gd or bad? nv noe.. juz felt that if its a praise, people are juz trying to make me happy... and if its a mean comments, they are juz wanting to spoil ur day... tot of myself as gd? nah... that much flaws is sufficient.. no matter how perfect i wan myself to be.. i'll always have the bad side of me to take coverage.. or even so.. how perfect the inner beauty is... could it beat the slightest power of outer beauty? nope.. cant...

do tot of loving real hard.. but.. am i prepared for 1? phoebia or expectations.. i shall not wry.. if i fall.. i'll fall... if not.. cant we lived without bf? i wonder how others is thinking bout love noe... humans are juz so complicated... or am i the complicating 1? hahas.. u'll nv noe.. to lived, recognition is all i need from all the imp 1's... that's a way for my happiness.. someday i'll find the true meaning of happiness... 19.. going on n on to find the meaning of life... ^^ may b wrong but its worth doing so... love!! juz another word isnt it?

- LifeGoesOn~

Monday, February 11, 2008

hmmm... it has been a damn long day today.. its 12th feb now.. 12.03am... ok... it was 11th feb previously.. have been slacking at hm lying on my bed all day round.. had some guitar practices.. nt bad nt bad.. still can play with those long squared nails.. working at 8am le... sian 1/2..
haven been toking to a fren lately... as well as chatting wif some1 new... as i've been totally bored.. suo lai hua chang... its juz plainly for fun, joy and laughter... but if things possible... y not? playing wun hurt either..
sometimes, thinking... am i the one rejecting love or i dun even noe how to love or who i really love... this type of feeling sux.. bcuz i noe it myself that i need love but i wun bother to have 1 because i lack the courage to accept something called "love".. I do oso fear that im not perfect, therefore i cant love anyone.. at times, seeing my cousin n frens have the one they truly love, i tend to feel that i'll forever be a lone soul.. where no 1 will notice my existence.. this truly makes me feel that im a failure...
some other reasons is.. perhaps.. i fear ppl... fear of being hurt n used... fear the sweet toks of guys as well as their actions to their gf... juz dun like.. -.-''' this proves that im totally "traditional".. haha...
i dunno if im gonna stay 4eva like tis, not being able to conquer my own feelings, giving people false hope or anything... i juz hope that my heart will change to like sum1 else....
lol... tis blog is only for myself... 10 cannot ask me bout it.. =P my lips r sealed... but if i got gd news i'll definately tell u! gd luck to u too!!!
alrite... my bro's back... gtg... blog soonz!
loves, huiling

- LifeGoesOn~

Saturday, February 9, 2008

recently ppl have been updating their blog.. make me have the urge 2 update it too.. haas.. It chinese new yr.. gong xi fa cai! Its the 10th of feb le.. 4.43am.. can u imagine that im still awake? haha.. didnt update my blog cuz i've been writing my personal diary... but! i shall do some update here...
chinese new yr.. the period i couldn't stop at take a break.. cuz i have a big family.. i muz spent bout 5-8day to complete visiting everyone ea yr... though job eh.. yup it is.. even gg out at night is a veri problematic thing as my relative doesnt really likes ppl 2 leave half way.. but i did, sometimes.. pan ni..
something to say bout my dad's side de cousins... man.. they r juz awesome? finally.. all of them are able to gather tgt 2 take photos.. cool? next time i shall publish it.. time passed so quickly that we've all grown up.. imagine me, 5-10 yrs down the road.. i could be married??? isnt tat juz.. fast?? this proves that life really veri short and we should really treasure our life...
oh ya! didnt mention.. hehe.. during chinese new yr i've tried putting on make up tat my relative didnt see b4.. everyone said that i've grown up, prettier etc stuff.. man zu man zu~ haha... the fu chu is i use a veri long time to put them on.. lol! frankly speaking.. i tot make up does makes ppl look prettier.. but it sure does seeks attention...
thinking of prettier.. im wondering if i shld put on braces.. to push inwards my teeth as well as super straighten my teeth.. lol? hmm.. so much to say.. oh my.. its 5.05am le.. so tired! tml then write my personal diary le.. update soon!

- LifeGoesOn~