Friday, February 15, 2008
oh my oh my... it's 2.15 am n im not aslp once again... sat 16th feb... life's disasterous this past few day as i've been working non-stop cum extras OT to take over those MC's staff.. clearing my throat all the time.. feels as if there stones caught in the middle.. flam.. *is that the correct spelling?* sometime there's even blood in it.. Lols.. too much of the CNY stuff isnt a gd ya...
a day has past, as usual... went shopping n watched movie with ele.. almost the same old routine as b4.. make-ups are the most time consuming thing which a gal could spent doing.. hate it when i have to spend so much time on the eyes... hahs? but the result is always better than not putting it at all isnt it? wondering if i shld walk the emo path n draw lower eyeliner... *thinking thinking* haha.. thinking of that.. i'm sucha letdown to myself.. to think that its better without make up in the past.. n IM using it now... OMG.. but it wun be a always thing.. i need to wake up extras 1hr b4 my previous time to finish preparing? i wonder how u gals can withstand this kind of torture man.. horrizible... for show oso cannot torture urself... -.-'''
asked ele bout some BGR things.. talking bout love... i wonder if all the guys r thinking it in such a realistic way... n gals r following it? may i have the exceptional 1? really dun wished that love is so simple loh.. perhaps i really need more recognition than other gals.. but, no worries, dun think im gg into a relationship so soon... until im older bah.. i may juz be thinking too complexed bout love or noe nth bout it but juz need the 1 for me to fall hard in n never come out that type.. will be painful.. but worth the pain type of person.. imperfect person looking for something perfect.. Wahaha! therefore, juz rather not have it wif my kind of mindset now.. courage is little, thinking love is not worth the try... wondering if tis sum1 could change me...
something i shld comment on too.. bout myself n my life.. i felt that im a person that would rather believe in others than believe in myself.. yet when it comes to image, attitude,my way of life and love, i'd rather keep others comments shut.. gd or bad? nv noe.. juz felt that if its a praise, people are juz trying to make me happy... and if its a mean comments, they are juz wanting to spoil ur day... tot of myself as gd? nah... that much flaws is sufficient.. no matter how perfect i wan myself to be.. i'll always have the bad side of me to take coverage.. or even so.. how perfect the inner beauty is... could it beat the slightest power of outer beauty? nope.. cant...
do tot of loving real hard.. but.. am i prepared for 1? phoebia or expectations.. i shall not wry.. if i fall.. i'll fall... if not.. cant we lived without bf? i wonder how others is thinking bout love noe... humans are juz so complicated... or am i the complicating 1? hahas.. u'll nv noe.. to lived, recognition is all i need from all the imp 1's... that's a way for my happiness.. someday i'll find the true meaning of happiness... 19.. going on n on to find the meaning of life... ^^ may b wrong but its worth doing so... love!! juz another word isnt it?
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LifeGoesOn~
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