¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·. '+ -[[.. Don't . Give . Up ..] ]- +' ¸.·´¯`·.¸ .·´¯`·.¸

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Tuesday, 29th july..

Skipped chemistry class..

Intended to do PP.. But.. ZZZ

Mummy sure noes how to make full use of me..

I HAD TO COOK DINNER!

in the end i only finish the synopsis and introduction.. SHARKS..

Simple dishes.. but it took me hrs to prepare them..

Anyway... ima good cook KAES!

At least my family clear those food..(tofu,sardines, meat patters and vege soup..)

bro-wie says its nice.. VICTORY~

cooking is juz my strength.. -.-''' perhaps its bcuz i eat a lot too.. haha..

daddy's been real real bz.. wif his new job.. 6.30am he'll be off for work and returning at 11pm.. CUZ he work at tuas.. LOLs..

at least i help him write his workers working hrs and pay slip of theirs.. (bcuz i got nice handwritting) hehe..

thus, i dun get the chance to exercise tis wk..

Wednesday, 30th july..went to work at IBM..

seriously, IBM is veri veri BZ.. i didnt even have the chance to do latte art thr.. summore businessman and office lady juz wun enjoy good coffee.. >.<>

ARGH.. stupid LEONARD!!

After working.. went out wif elena.. as she wanted to sell away the CPU.. cabbed to bedok cash converter but then dun accept customized CPU... In the end had to cabbed back as it was too heavy.. Overall.. we cabbed thru and fro.. N i wasted my $.. lols.. Too much money but i oso cannot anyhow spend..

Perhaps im too tired everyday.. my smiles faded wif time.. but wheneva im wif her, I can always find my true self back..
we intended to watch money no enough II but the duration is too long(2hrs)
she's having presentation next day and had to prepare the script..

Time is always the cause of all evil..
every1 so bz...
I'm bz making myself bz too.. haha..
frens,cuxs gets drifted away...
but they are forever thr wheneva i need them..
blissed~
i miss those fun..
chilling wif them..
craze ard, indulge in delicious food and liquor..
=( i wan my holidays.. DEFINATELY!
but it juz didnt clash wif theirs.. HAIZ!

Emo... I wanted more time to enjoy.. Give myself soul therapy... and smile from the bottom from my heart as they noes me best!

Haiz.. EMO EMO...
Ling,Lian,Bee and Rachel..

Miss those chilling sessions tgt..

clubbing, eating, gg pub, shopping and so many more..

miss Bee councilling session..

miss ling jokes,nonsense,anti-racial attitude,and the way she always like to find trouble from others...

miss lian vulgarities from each and every sentence she speaks

and rachel, the super on drinker which is comparable to me..

Owww.. i miss u all..

miss Pris updates on all the media stuff..

her contagious laughs..

miss 10 u dare me i dare u attitude.. challenges.. her cold jokes that makes people really veri cold.. haa.. her encouragements that really enlightens others..

Last but not least.. miss elena everything planned ahead outing, eating almost every min outings.. shopping.. her non stop toking.. movie and shopping siao..

So much I could receive from them..

ow... but i'll be gg out wif 10 n pris tis sunday..
^^ shall enjoy myself totally...

sad thou... haiz.. EMO~

- LifeGoesOn~

Monday, July 28, 2008

saturday,26th july..
went to work as usual.. am shift..(working wif sha is so much better) does my coffee makes u wanna drink it?

when I was on my way back, waiting 4 bus 34 to return hm.. saw an old granny.. looking here and thr, doubting to board the bus or nt..
Definately, i approach her la..
ask her whether she needs any help.. but found out that she was at the wrong side of the bus stop..
brought her to cross the bridge(she an old granny)
haha.. was being praise(shall keep that to myself)
but i so wished to tell mummy that she says mummy fortunate to have me.. ^__^
hmmm.. what she tells me is so true.. I rmbed last sat, 19th giving my seat to an old lady..
u noe WTF happened? bloody hell mid age biatch go snatch her seats..
haiz.. so sad that im so far away from thr... if not im so gonna embarassed her la..
looking at the old auntie sad just hurts..
perhaps when i was young, I nv get to cherish my grandmother..
her death was too sudden to be accepted.. all mummy and daddy told me was :"grandma's dead"..
But at least her death made me a better person..
perhaps.. it was her death that makes me such a quiet girl too... to accept things that I don't wished to accept.. and can't voice anything...
alrite.. too heavy..
despite my pms, still went to cycle, for leisure with relatives..(annie etc)
sunday, 27th july.. went for badminton 3-5pm
anything that has to do with bro-wie is intense!
SERIOUSLY, veri intense..
half an hr of 1v1 match and im almost dead..(panting real hard)
3.30pm, annie n wil came.. SAVIOR..
played 2v2 until 5pm.
shower..

went for dinner after that.. ate rice again..
i think that's the reason that i've not been slimming at all..
gaining to be exact!!!!
ZZZ...

after dinner, movie..(dark knight)
been quite a while since I watch movie..
In the past, to think of it, i can actually watch twice a wk...
haha.. memories...*fading*
haiz..

I'm losing my true self.. can't seems to be myself..
so tired... so.. lost... just so many things to cope with..
time is ticking so fast, like a time bomb...
I wished to go back to the PAST..............

- LifeGoesOn~

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Friday is a tiring day..
Especially when its PMS day..
Physics lessons BORING...

Not feeling very well.. shall head back hm, skipped guitar & rest..
Sry.. Dun mean 2 PS de..

Anyway.. Juz how long am i gonna fill u up? its only $46..
owww.. I shall put 2-$1 from now on.. but only when i gets extra allowance from daddy..
Daddy's been working OTs ever since he changed his job.. =( thou this proves that i will have more allowance, somehow i'm not really veri happy bout it.. Haiz.. will b receiving $ on sat night.. It has been a while ever since we get tgt and chit-chat.. every1's so bz wif work and stuides.. Im missing their smiles and laughters..

Having this in the room, music just calms u down.. lying on the bed beside, having ur air-con set at 20degree celcius.. SLEEP~ lols..

Seriously, not feeling well.. rushing back asap when I finishes my UT..

dun think I can exercise tml..
working gonna be difficult..
no swimming tis wk...
how bout the badminton tis sat?
ARGH.. how I wish girls can be free from PMS..

PP! Im so DEAD.. every1 has started.. EXCEPT ME? DIE..
Hopefully, I'll survive from all tis hardship.. T_T
stress!

- LifeGoesOn~

Thursday is juz another pon school day.. great! T_T the X's and the D's are killing me..
BUT!
They are juz so influential ya?
U'll juz skip... haha..
Especially when it is MCB~(my most X's)
the usual 5.. peggy,cindy,huiyan and amelia.. but.. never the complete 6, ying xiang..
oww...
slacked mac and starbucks..
had breakfast, chit-chatted, gossips and much
more.. However.. good things are always so short.. time past so fast that we had to head back
for UT's.. met up wif YX and cabbed to school.. 3/cab..
Being marked partial for attendance.. ARGH... *fuked up faci* cheated us... tot can get X in the beginning.. now partial.. $#^%@
I'm so not gonna be affected by it... cuz i've enjoyed myself.. lols...
Days are limited.. soon it will be the time to part..
haiz..
being a barista, i muz improve on my skills.. anyway, my coffee sure taste better than those noobcakes barista.. LOLs..
*putting smiles on my customers face with my coffee*

Hmmm... did any1 tell u that the best weather to jog is jogging in the rain?
jogging against the wind, have raindrops falling on the body...
It's a great day 2day... couldn't asked for more...
2 bad 10 wasnt able to jog wif me..
but soon she will.. =) rest well ba.. old granny 10.. hahas..
IM still so young and energetic..

So saddening...
Im STUCKED at my current weight...
Hates...
T_T

- LifeGoesOn~

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Tuesday,22nd july, 8.28pm
It was a nothing-ness day...
Everything was smooth..
smth different is that andrea was not in sch and I was marked partial for guitar as I went back wif YX.. meet up wif mum to hv dinner.. nothing's better than being wif my family.. The 1 that is thr when i needs them.. back.. and started blogging as i finally have time right time to...

thanks auntie 10 once again..
despite being bz and tired..
u still got the time to "haunt" me..
being concerned bout ea and every difficulties im facing..
but.. i'm alrite le.. cuz i kinda got thing figured out..
4eva my pillar of support.. thanks luh.. owe u so much..
cuz u nv fail to bring a smile on my face..
My Super Duper Great kaki..

The first thing of causing my stress, GUITAR..
Problem:quit or not to quit?
Because of :my responsibility as a committee..my friends in guitar.. My rooutine being affected.. My stress being in guitar.. My tiredness being so packed.. etc etc
Solution: I'm quitting right after the yr 3's is leaving... perhaps that's my limit.. for now tis is my solution and i juz need to support debbie and hasanah to keep tis committee gg.. (the "for now" is bcuz sum1 told me to juz pon during yr3.. lols)

The second stress, A friend that time has drifted us apart
Perhaps there is really no solution to it..
but i just wanna say, its not easy that we've come so far..
I really have no idea whats wrong wif the friendship..
but i hope time is not the factor which ends a friendship which i've alway treasured..
I really wish to know what's wrong.. but i juz cant seems to find out whr does the fault lies..

The third stress, my own routine..
because: I desperately wished to go back early everyday.. I have no time for others.. I only have time 4 stupid stuff like guitar, work, studies and exercise and nth else.. I'm making myself more and more agitated,petty,fustrated,mad etc etc which caused me to make a fool out of myself...
Solution: if im having 4 days studies :mon tue thur fri
1-3 times exercise a wk.. wed thur sat
2 days work wed sat
2 days guitar
1 day meeting mon
what i have to do is BEAR WIF IT..
haha... ok... i noe.. its not funny...
i'm somehow used to such routines..
its juz that my attitude will sux...
trying to change..
and i will do what i've said..

lastly, people who are affecting me so much... I believe it is due to my tiredness that i've admit defeat even when the war hasn't started.. its juz myself feeling down ba...
my heart will definately tells me who is worth my tears...

As 4 the guy.. it will not be worth mentioning.. if not i'll be juz spoiling my own mood..
(my quote again: u dun need to be pretty to love sum1 and be loved in return..but thr r people that is juz not so worth loving..)
btw.. i'm wondering y is thr ppl that could add me thru msn when my friendster is already set private..
heavy entries again.. haiz..

some words are left unspoken..
i shall keep it to myself..
ciao..bye

- LifeGoesOn~

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Again, I cried..
is it juz bcuz im not able to cope,
or u're juz making my life even more complicated?
Haiz.. seriously.. I wonder what ppl wish to expect from me...
I'm so tired to even think...

its always so stupid to cry in the bus..
wondering why am i crying..
tears just flow...

perhaps, im too STRESSED..
perhaps, i dun have enough slp..
perhaps, u made me felt so helpless..
I really really wished i had more time...

exercising is juz my excuse..
I juz wished to be bz...
to not feel that im alone..
weak? i am...
i used to have routines that im always outside..
not anymore now..
I juz have to keep moving forward...

thank you people 4 caring 4 me..
love u mum n dad..
4 asking me to stop all my work n excise..
great to see them caring bout me..
Or am i going too far?
mon,tue,thur,fri -->sch
tue n fri --> guitar after sch until 9pm
wed, thur and sat -->swim/jog/basketball/badminton..
sunday --> exercise? see the world? hide in the room? household chores..

I'm losing myself... shld i listen ppl's advice to quit..
shld i stop everything?
Or is it really myself that is making me felt so miserable?
I wish this thing would stop affecting my grades..
I wan myself back...
Im struggling...
can u see it??
haiz...

- LifeGoesOn~

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The ugly, evil , hidden side of me is surfacing... juz bcuz im too tired...
Everything I said seems to be so unliked me...
after thinking twice on what i've said... i wonder is it really myself? or the other me that is taking charge of the real me... -.-''' tired so hard to be ms nice... n now... ZZZ

Now, i understand y i've been eating a lot... it does makes me happy when im tired... seriously.. pathetic...

if exercising is helping me not to think much... its worth the tiredness..
no wonder im getting fatter.. stress=exercise... exercise, kill stress/wanna feel happier= eat
overall = fatter... fatter= lagi stress!

just what am i doing? to neglect my frenship n everything else... making myself suffer... WHAT am i doing?? I'm really so TIRED....

- LifeGoesOn~

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Its sunday le.. oww.. shall say all my routine since thurs..
Thursday: As I was saying from my previous blog entries, I went swimming... B4 that went causeway pt, brought myself a perfect fit of goggles.. find it rather expensive.. but since im using it every once a wk.. y nt? all those exercise r making me broke; eating out n payment of entrance fee... wasn't able to meet wil n annie on time(choosing goggles wisely).. but was able to reach at the same time wif auntie 10..
annie: 42laps
wilson:48 laps
10:24laps
me: 20laps
haiz.. lousy... the leg cramp is killing me... if i stretch 1 bit... definately i'll drown when the cramp starts.. anyway.. im so sadded... 10 got big BOOBS... auntie annie oso got... ARGH.. smallest thr..lol.. i always tot mine is quite big le.. so sad when its not.. ahha.. random.. after swimming went for lunch.. waited for dad to fetch at annie's house.. went back at 12am.. (tired) slpt...

Friday: went to sch..(pon phy 2nd time le) soul-less.. haha.. actually intended to pon wif andrea watch movie wif her n steven.. but steven wasnt able to make it.. instead.. went to sing K with amelia,cindy,huiyan,peggy and eugene.. (there goes my grades) im so gonna flung my physics.. but i had fun thr... its worth the pon-ning.. actually find it kinda reluctant to sing bcuz in my mind it was all bout slping.. lols... every1's singing was nice!! backed b4 evening..skipped guitar.. FINALLY I WAS ABLE TO SEE THE CLEAR BLUE SKY WHEN I REACH HM!! really cant stay until so late when i had to work in the morning tml.. get to eat hm cooked food--> so damn contended! on the com.. N... LOLs... stuck with the com chatting until 1/2am... ZZZ.. in the end i slp few hrs again...

Saturday: worked wif LEONARD! @$#%& always my greatest nightmare working wif outlet manager.. summore he slacked a lot.. finished work at 2pm... *toot* him.. leave the rest when the stall is bz.. as usual, helped until 2.50+ send beans went back at 3pm.. haiz.. some day i'll QUIT!! (i guess) haha.. but i juz loved to be called senior barista... then!
happily went back.. cause my relatives is at hm! continue on with jogging and basket ball.. (wif lil nephewS) so it was alrite.. but wheneva i exercise.. there is "da chan" waiting behind for me.. had "zu chao" mum's treat... CHEERS! really had fun on saturday...

seriously speaking... i've been gaining weight while exercising... (im eating a lot).. N.. Bloody tam swimming complex... the water is filled with flams n mucus.. n bees r floating ard... that cause the pimples on my face (super sensitive) plus that 4-6hrs slp everyday.. Im pushing myself far too hard for my body to adapt... fatter n uglier... OMG... SUX!

Sunday:due to relatives stayover.. had to wake up early again.. breakfast tgt.. but i had 6hrs of slp... ^^ luckily today was a slacky day.. no exercise day.. did some household;laundry.. and mini gamble wif them... yea.. won $30 bucks..
sumthing which bothers me.. i broke my frenship cup.. haiz... rmb-ed what i told a fren 2day.. dun bother to meet when u're not even free for frens.. am i too ridiculous? but i really find it ptless when ppl cant even b free for juz 1 msg.. to meet /not? its either u're not taking initiative as a fren or u r REALLY not taking initiative... haiz.. I dunno how to help it either.. it frenship really fades.. its fated to be... im juz too fuked up wif my life.. nothing else really matters anymore..
jason msged again.. this time, perhaps i told him indirectly that we r not possible to be tgt... (i dun hurt ppl) end with a c u when i c u... im too bz to think bout love.. find hard n u will surely get urself a gf.. =) btw... dun misunderstood me.. his a playboy too.. i guess.. juz not worth investing.. plenty of things better to do.. if u're gonna waste my time... off u go... n i'd rather invest in my friendship.. bcuz.. YOU YI WAN SUI~sry... self high.. *note.. i do stupid things when im tired*

played with the weighing machine when most of my relatives is in my room.. (uncle n aunties)
annie: 52.5kg
mary:52.0kg
uncle: 54.5kg(he really got beer stomach, yet his so light!!)*argh*
dad:77kg
mum:52.3kg
me:60kg (oops.. revealed)
once again! im getting fatter.. despite the height.. sux.. im so fat amg all.. shall get wilson n auntie 10 weight next time.. get their info's.. haha.. cuz we R the slimming team.. LOLs.. anyway.. i only get to slim when i nv exercise.. if exercise.. i'll gain weight(eat too much).. sounds weird? but its true.. DIE.. uglier n fatter!! HELP~

a heavy blog.. shall post some pics the next time~

- LifeGoesOn~

Thursday, July 10, 2008

ok.. short post for 2day..
IM VERY VERY TIRED!
oh god... studies+work+guitar+exercise...
How long will I be able to tolerate it?
shld i follow u n strike out 1?
obvious which i will cancel out?
I simply miss my those days i can stay at hm n rot.. IM VERI TIRED
4-5hrs of slp everyday..
haiz... even got scolding by my facilitatorS...
Im really not concentrating.. DIE..

got leg cramp while swimming.. sharks.. LOUSY... (walking wif a limp)
gotta go do some more laps today.. sharks...
cuz promise others muz make it!!
JIA YOU HUILING!!

- LifeGoesOn~

Monday, July 7, 2008

hmm... too much pictures.. too messed up.. juz c pics bah.. haha!

andrea.. my pon sch good fren.. hahaz... thanks for the accompaniment in RP.. ^^

W55D rox... so sad... sem is gonna end soon... I'll enjoy tis 1mth plus left... T_T

dna fingerprinting!! wanna check if ur parents is ur biological parents??

outing wif cux on saturday.. pretty gals lian n bee go rebond... as for me, highlight.. ARGH! no colour... *hates* after tat meet up wif the rest.. ate at kenny roger.. mj at ling house.. woot.. but i nv gamble.. no longer had that gamble mood..ppl do influence ppl to change...

had fun wif them.. 3th july 2008.. ginny,huiling, chienyu and yuxiang..
so sad i dun have the siew mai can fly... awaits more buffet outing!

that's all hope u've enjoyed viewing...

to you:(im happy as long as you are)

- LifeGoesOn~

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Haiz...4th july 2008..
Skipped school... Im too tired after swimming... Things have been bothering me too... first, finiance budget stuff, UT, school and exercise.. The worst shld be that crappy friendship.. I dunno if i shld end a frenship for my own good, or maintain it for ur own good... I guess the only solutions is to not be bothered bout this frenship that is not worth to try and invest any longer... *sobz* another frenship gone... JUZ bcuz of guys... hate it wheneva such things happens...

I've been SO SO SO bz that I wasnt able to blog..

sakura buffet was fun!! plain toast isnt plain toast afterall.. LOLs.. besides eating, gossiping is all that keeps us bz all day long.. took lotsa pictures.. (but its not wif me now)...
guess I was the most shao xing de person thr bah... all were able to share their personal feeling except me... hmm.. mayb partly was the reason that its not worth mentioning...
but i guess it would be better if i juz share it ba... bi jing they had said theirs.. SERIOUSLY, im not serious in any relationship.. jimmy or jason , nope.. perhaps games is something too serious.. juz that i meet them, but is not keen in starting a r/s wif any1 even if they r (u muz be having ??? on top of your head)
reason for me doing so.. perhaps is bcuz i have nth better 2 do? nope... juz wanna be cared bout ba... another reason is that as u noe, im not as perfect as other gals; flawed.. all i could do is prove myself that i can be the same... but such things is ok isnt it? I dunno.. stupid... that's y im finding it stupid now...
guys... it really hard for u to find the 1 whom u madly loved and loved u truly in return... when eva a guy wans you.. they will do wateva it takes to have you.. and you're with them, suffering is bound to be more than being loved.. stereotype? YES! ok.. i really dunno what else to say.. love, perhaps its juz so out of my dictionary.. I don't even love myself... how can i love any1 else?

ok... its getting a bit to heavy... juz dun like mentioning ba.. gets very upset when mentioned..

read horoscope from somewhr...(but its in chinese)
di yi yan zong hui ge ren jiao ao leng mo de gan jue, bu shan biao da qing gan de ta qi shi shi wai leng nei re de. xiang chu jiu le jiu ke fa xian,qi shi ta hai man hao jiang hua de! suo yi bie cong ta de wai biao pan duan ta de xiang fa.. qi shi ta shi ge heng hao xiang chu de ren...
rite auntie 10?
haha.. thinking bout that, there's only 4person that can unlocked the hidden me and i would chat non stop wheneva i see them(including if i got the mood to tok) eeling,elena,priscilla and zah...
surprise surprise.. they r the only 1 that closed my mouth and wans me to stop toking x)
hmm.. perhaps quiet is my style.. dun bother to find that chatty me.. no 1 can handle it.. haha..

hmmm... it's time i do smth to everything... not gonna let any1 spoils my mood anymore... i will be happy juz by schooling,guitar-ing, work, exercise with kakis n cousin n aunt.. it doesnt matters if anything else happens.. IT DOESNT!

- LifeGoesOn~

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

chienyu's noes my blog!! As an ex-secretary of GEnRe... luckily i was not stranggled to death by her wif so many "argh.. guitar practice" "sian..guitar soon" stuff.. now, it has increased to 3 GEnRean knowing my blog le.. hope it wun increase... if not i cant give much comments on guitar stuff le.. but! i will still say.. haha.. yeah~ buffet 2day.. wif 3 toast, kaya,butter n plain toast.. sukura buffet!

My mood have been pretty high nowadays... juz that the tiredness is holding me back...

Anyway... many of the material science peeps have choosen Environmental Science for their elective selection.. definately, im into the majority.. hopefully i can cope wif this subject..

something bout the call yesterday night... juz wth am i doing? haiz.. hmm.. anyway.. guys.. dun play guessing games le.. im not into r/s... i do wish to sustain all my frenship more than juz gainning only 1 person which somehow is going to ruin my life...

sharks.. im moody again... life's never easy... setbacks is juz nt gonna stop me from enjoying my life!!

- LifeGoesOn~