The neither up nor down feeling for birthday.. =(=
Its veri tiring/a waste to celebrate.. Seriously. cater a buffet, bbq ordering, cake ordering, inviting guest, thing-do-buy n to-do..
Instead of feeling happy, I kinda felt sad.. lol..
I HATE DECIDING AND BEING FORCED.. I hate the two of them to be exact, I'll get angry n pissed over it..(lose my cool) I hate to choose what every1 has to eat.. I hate to choose wat cake n what bbq stuff i muz buy.. I hate to choose dresscode.. I hate to have 100guest when I have to smile till my jaw's drop.. I hate it when relatives rushed me to get things done.. I hate it when they want me to spend more when i've already told them im SAVING for my friends present.. I hate it when i've already i have to do everything myself.. =(
the only thing tat brightens up me is that.. family to be asking, you wanna buy key a not? or juz give angbao? I help u settle tis n tat? bff would panicked over buying my 21st present.. seeing auntie 10 n prissy de cunning smiles n seeing them planning everything in place, and nicely for me in buying the deco n small gift makes me happy.. n friends will be like asking what you wan? n have no idea what to get all bcuz I dun really need anything else..
haha.. To be exact, all i need is you ppl.. =) to share my joy.. juz those people whom I cared, n cared bout me..
but haha.. y do i have a bad feeling that most aint free.. sighs..
Wondering if =( will over power =)
If i noe, I would rather make it a small celebration..
at least i'll feel happy from the btm of my heart..