Thursday, January 28, 2010
Will you wished to be urself, or go with the crowd?
What auntie 10 told me was true..
Perhaps it was after my birthday, I got tired of being the "me" whom i alway portrait to others..
Quiet,understanding, totful.. watever it may be..
She's right..
Somehow.. I did really feel tat I shld start living for myself.. not anymore for others..
In a way, I became more selfish, but wiser..
Perhaps bcuz of peer influene, I became loud..
I think without speaking..
I feel how i wanna feel.. instead of putting others before my veri own shoes..
Being cranky have my veri own attitude n tolerance.. Other than sum1 that doesnt have temper..
It's somehow made me feels more like a human..
Like 10 always said..
Im only my true self when im wif my close friends..
My flaws became obvious when im with them..
Its the only time which i could put down my masks..
N be the kid whom i nv showed..
hitting ard, playing, say out watever i wanna say, teased the both of them..
Its the only time i can stop being serious..
wif bestie, I dun have to show a single perfection..
she noes me more than I myself could realised..
I dunno if im better quiet to listen.. or 1 that could be the 1 that can chat wif you wholeheartedly(it might hurts if i said smth wrong; i juz don't noe how to think n talk)..
But it doesnt mean im fake..
I will be me.. again..
Listen and comment after thinking..
choose not to be close wif any single 1..
Be solo..
Its time to stop being cranky..
its a gd thing tat im gg back to being emo..
=)
sighs..however..
It only means that i wouldnt open up my heart to allow you to understand me better..
Im quiet by natural..
If only you could be the few tat says that im noisy.. and ask me to shut up and listen to you..
=)
<3 you guys always..
Some time for myself..
Away from being bonded too closely tgt..
But still, together..
Back to being myself wif short replies..
to think before i say..
jiayou huiling!
P.S. Im changing back for myself.. i dunno if it might be a lil too dramatic for the rest to accept..
but i should stop hurting ppl..
Sometimes I really wished that people will stop thinking about being fair or not.. But to really give ur all to the other juz to exceed the pt of human's selfishness.. A pt where u would sacrifice to see ones happiness instead of ur own..
i juz dun wan to believe in wat bff's said.. "every1 is selfish"
But.. even i myself gets tired of not being self centered n selfish..
Humans..
Horrible arent they?
-
LifeGoesOn~
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